Come on over, we’re having the worst party ever.

This is a conversation Harry, our friend Roz and I had Sunday night on Facebook. It was the last day of Harry’s vacation.

You’re welcome. ^_^

Harry Fresh from the oven: piping hot grumblecakes.
56 minutes ago via mobile ·
Like · ·Unfollow Post

Sarah ‎:(
55 minutes ago · Like

Harry Remedy: singing, reading, or drawing.
54 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 1

Nick man, i want biscuits now.
53 minutes ago · Like

Harry The Patriot has really good biscuits and sausage gravy.
51 minutes ago via mobile · Like

Sarah ‎*giggle* Oh Harry. :)
50 minutes ago · Like

Sarah singing?
50 minutes ago · Like

Harry I might play RB, but it may be too late to sing at my volume.
45 minutes ago via mobile · Like

Roz do they come with a side of ‘don’twannago’ syrup?
43 minutes ago · Unlike · 3

Harry Filled with a subtle “this is the pits” scented creme and served with a heaping pile of “this isn’t how I expected it to be”.
41 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 3

Roz I mean…this could still be quite the meal, especially if bacon is an optional.
39 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Harry Bacon is optional, but it is also underdone.
38 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Sarah LOL
37 minutes ago · Like

Roz How the heck can anyone be expected to throw an appropriately aweful pity party without soggy, undercooked bacon?
34 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Roz At my last party, which was catered by Itwasboundtosuck.com, I didn’t order enough of the soggy bacon. It was all downhill from there. Considering that this was a lowest of low, it meant that we had to dig a trench, get in, and then eat food.
33 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Sarah LOL True.
33 minutes ago · Like

Sarah Warm soda or watery lemonade to round out the meal?
31 minutes ago · Like

Roz Limp bacon is better than limp biscut, so there’s at least that. And we’re not having to wear wet socks.
31 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Harry limp bacon, grumblecakes, and a side of homely fries. Now that’s a sad sight for anyone to see.
31 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Roz decaf coffee for me thanks, because I haven’t seen a can of Tab in about 15 years.
30 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Sarah Why would be wearing wet socks? Also, all of those are better than Limp Bizkit.
30 minutes ago · Like

Sarah LOL Worst party ever.
29 minutes ago · Like

Sarah Decaf INSTANT coffee, too.
29 minutes ago · Like

Harry Wet socks and itchy sweaters are the dress code! Too tight underwear and a T-shit with a tag that keeps jabbing you are also suggested.
28 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Roz I’m sure there’s a jar of decaf Sanka crystals somewhere at the back of the cabinet, where it belongs.
28 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Harry T-shirt, not T-shit. Though T-shit would be appropriate.
27 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Sarah That was exactly what I was thinking of, Sanka. :)
27 minutes ago · Like · 1

Roz I’m sure I’m not the only one who wonders what possibly be for dessert. Hopefully not the T-shit.
27 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Sarah Underdone but burnt brownies.
27 minutes ago · Like · 1

Roz So….it is the T-shit. I’ll pass.
26 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Harry The one saving grace is that the O.K. soda was old, but hadn’t actually gone bad yet.
26 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 1

Sarah Oh fuck. I’m laughing so much, I’m crying.
25 minutes ago · Like · 1

Sarah OOoooh! I love OK soda!!
25 minutes ago · Like

Sarah Warm Moxie, perhaps.
25 minutes ago · Like · 1

Harry Did you know: Daniel Clowes did some of the art for O.K. soda? The people he drew were based on the Manson family, from what I read this afternoon.
23 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Sarah Just thinking about itchy sweaters makes me all wiggling and uncomfortable.
Ya know, I’m picturing this party in the summer time so all of this would be very unpleasant.
There’d have to me mosquitoes.
22 minutes ago · Like · 1

Sarah Dessert….fruit salad that’s been sitting out too long so it’s kinda warm and watery and all the flavours melled together.
21 minutes ago · Like

Roz There would have to be. Mandatory. Invited beforehand even. But anyway, if I was at this party, mosquitoes are a given, they love me. The party would be in the dead of August heat, high noon. Outside in a ditch.
21 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Harry There are no Mosquitoes; there are thousands of citronella candles burning right next to the wobbling display of Grumblecakes.
20 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Sarah They love me too. I was thinking around dusk, so the gnats would be out too.
20 minutes ago · Like

Sarah So EVERYTHING would taste like citronella.
19 minutes ago · Like · 1

Harry If nothing else, I know I can throw a terrible party if the occasion ever calls for it.
18 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Sarah I’m trying to think of another dessert and can’t think of anything.
18 minutes ago · Like

Sarah I kinda want to throw this party. :)
17 minutes ago · Like · 1

Roz well, at least there aren’t any mosquitoes at your party, improbable as that is. I’m in, I’ve got my itchy sweater and wet socks picked out for the occasion.
17 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Roz So far, Sarah, the options were T-shit and T-shit. I’m thinking that at this point, it might be well to keep those citronella candles well away from the dessert tray, or it’ll end up looking like somebody’s pranked backstep.
16 minutes ago · Like

Sarah Slap some wool on me and I’m there. Wait…that’s a bad idea. I’ll die from not being able to breathe. Ummmm….okay. Some really itchy acrylic yarn would work for me.
16 minutes ago · Like · 1

Sarah I’ll wear some Spanx under jeans and a normal tshirt. But they are really damp ’cause they came out the dryer too soon.
14 minutes ago · Like · 1

Sarah WORST.PARTY.EVER.
We’d have to invite Missie and Matt and Nick. :)
13 minutes ago · Like · 1

Harry For your musical enjoyment, might I present Rod Stewart in a merkin singing “If you want my body” through an old, crakly PA with the treble turned all the way up.
13 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Sarah Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
12 minutes ago · Like · 1

Roz NOW it is the worst party ever.
11 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Harry To conclude the evening: a screening of Skydivers.
11 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Roz It could only get worse if there were mosquitos ;)
11 minutes ago · Like · 1

Sarah Skydivers. Ugh. I think I’ll take a nap.
10 minutes ago · Like · 1

Harry I actually feel kind of good about going to work tomorrow, because it means I don’t have to go to this party.
9 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 2

Sarah See, things COULD be worse.
7 minutes ago · Like · 1

Roz I wish I could like this entire conversation enough times to make it Famous on the Internet.
4 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Sarah Is there way to save this? Screen shot, me thinks. But that would cut it off. Hmmm….
3 minutes ago · Like

Roz You should now invite all your friend to this party
2 minutes ago · Unlike · 2

Sarah We’re doing our job of cheering Harry up. *wipes hands and walks away* My job here is done.
2 minutes ago · Like · 2

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